People assume that the hardest part of cancer is the treatment – the chemo, the radiation, the hair falling out – but it isn’t. The hardest part comes after, when loved ones have gone back to their daily lives, the treatment is over and you’ve been given the ‘all clear’. That’s when the hard part begins.
Within a year of finishing treatment, I found myself in a dark pit of despair. I had ‘survived’ cancer and yet now I was struggling to survive life.
The person I was ‘before’ disappeared the moment the doctor told me I had breast cancer. In that second she was gone forever. I was numb and on automatic pilot for the next two years during treatment and reconstruction. But after all that, the ‘old me’ never came back, and I was left with a new self that was a complete stranger to me.
I found myself lost, completely alone, stuck in a deep black hole with no way out.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t ask for more support and attention from loved ones after they had made their worlds revolve around me for so long already. How could complain after I had survived cancer? I mean, how ungrateful is that?
So I kept my mouth shut and suffered in silence.
Now fast-forward three years and I am the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. The Hoffman Process was the beginning of this transformation. It threw me a rope so I could start the climb out of that black hole I had found myself in.
No, I didn’t go to Hoffman for seven days and come home a perfect enlightened being; but I did come home laden with tools, knowledge and a newfound spiritual awareness to prepare me for the journey ahead.
Just as we go to the gym to maintain a strong body, we need a regular spiritual routine to keep our thoughts and hearts full of positivity and hope. Hoffman taught me those spiritual routines, which have become an integral part of my everyday life.
Now I want to help other people; which is why I have started writing The Five Pearls, a book to help women survive life after surviving breast cancer.
The Five Pearls will be a book written by thousands of people. There are no egos here, this isn’t about becoming famous or writing a best seller. The Five Pearls is only about changing lives and spreading love.
I want to make sure no woman has to go through the same hell I endured post-cancer; that every beautiful breast cancer survivor can find her way to light and joy. Each person that opens up their soul to me and shares five pearls of wisdom will be credited as an author of the book. All they need do is email me five things that helped them find joy after breast cancer.
This book is just the start. I hope this will be the beginning of a movement – a sisterhood of survivors, offering experience, strength and hope for women stepping in our post-cancer treatment footsteps. Eventually I’d love to see a series of books written by people who endured something profound and overcame, people who want to make sure no one else has to suffer the same way they did.
So please spread the word. I need to gather pearls of wisdom from breast cancer survivors from every corner of the globe and I can’t do it alone. Tell everyone and anyone about this project and ask them to pass the information forward.
I thank you in advance, and am immensely grateful for your help. I think we all agree there is way too much fear, doom and gloom in the world today. Let’s do something huge and magnificent to prove we can overcome by spreading love.
To find out more about Saskia, visit her website saskialightstar.com
Saskia image © Amelia Allen. Please do not attempt to copy or reproduce without explicit approval.