The eldest of four children, Kelly was born and brought up in Australia. After years of depression as an adult she turned her life around with a variety of complementary therapies, then she realised that she wanted to become a therapist herself. As she was poised to leap into a new career, childhood anxieties came back to haunt her, so she decided to do the Hoffman Process to lay them to rest. In her spare time she likes to work out and perform on the trapeze but this was one time that she leapt without a safety net…

kellytasdevilI grew up with a father who was violent to both my mother and my siblings. When I was 9 my father finally left, which was initially a relief but then my mother fell apart emotionally. All this left me with a legacy of chronic anxiety and a fear of abandonment. Looking back I realise that I took on quite a parental role with my younger brothers and sister from a young age. Although my mother remarried not long after my father left, I didn’t get on well with my stepfather, whom I found emotionally distant.

At the age of 20 I started a 7 year relationship with a man who drank quite heavily and used drugs to numb out. During those years I myself suffered from clinical depression. I was on a cocktail of anti-depressants and attempted suicide on several occasions. Finally, aged 27, I decided to try a new path and gave up the anti-depressants under medical supervision. I sorted out my diet, detoxed, and did a course of acupuncture as well as other complementary therapies. I found that the real game changers were Hypnotherapy, NLP, (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or ‘tapping’). I was so impressed with the results of those that I trained in these techniques myself!

By 2012 I was based in the UK working in a large corporation and hoping to start my own therapeutic practice. I had recently finished a long-distance relationship with a man in Australia and I would wake every day feeling so anxious that it was hard to breathe. I felt sure that this feeling was being triggered by childhood events, so I contacted a friend who had done the Hoffman Process. I knew it was a course that helped you to integrate the past and, after hearing what she had to say, I decided to enrol. The Hoffman tag line ‘When you’re serious about change’ really resonated with me. I knew I was VERY serious about change – I just didn’t know how to start. In one of those moments of amazing synchronicity I was told that my job role was in line for redundancy just before I set off for the course, so I knew that if I didn’t make the leap of my own accord I was likely to be pushed!

kellytrapeze-joyfulgoals1Facing My Fears

The Process allowed me to face my biggest fears around death and abandonment which was tremendously challenging but ultimately such a relief. I loved the creative use of ritual on the course too. I appreciated the power of doing something physical to mark the letting go of certain patterns. The bashing that we did on the course to release pent up anger was wonderfully cathartic. I found it so helpful that I even have my own wiffle bat at home so these days my boyfriend and I can release the frustration of difficult days by bashing cushions!

I also do visualisations from the course and listen to key songs from the Process which act as emotional anchoring points. In fact I recently did a trapeze performance inspired by the ‘dark side’ exercise that we did on the Process, where you take a good look at that negative self-critical voice in your head. I chose the track by Florence and the Machine called: ‘Shake it out’ which has the lyrics ‘it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back…’

Compared to other courses I’ve done, the fact that Hoffman offered 8 days of uninterrupted focus on my inner world was key – that’s what allowed me to go so deep. There are no distractions or breaks in the journey so to spend 8 days totally ‘unzipped’ is a real gift.

When I left the Process I felt very aware of the importance of living a balanced life. I knew that I wanted to build something solid, both in work and relationships. I no longer wake up full of anxiety and I feel much more secure. In addition to all the emotional education that you get on the course, I’ve continued learning about psychology and the language of feelings. In fact I’m currently blogging about the latest scientific breakthroughs in understanding how our emotions are affected by our environment.

kellyanddrewFinding Balance

I realised that what we call ‘working hard’ is when you’re pushing against an inner resistance to what you’d really like to be doing. Now I’m working full time as a coach and hypnotherapist in Islington and the City of London near Old Street, doing a job I love – work just flows. I get a total buzz watching my clients overcoming their fears and anxieties so that they’re able to live more expansive, fulfilling lives. I’m feeling particularly thrilled at the moment because a client who had a real fear of flying has just been able to overcome that fear and fly off on her honeymoon.

When I was young being so empathic was a problem because I picked up the depression and fearful atmosphere at home, then as an adult I was buffeted by the power struggles and suppressed emotions that are rife in the corporate world. Finally I’ve found a role where empathy is of real benefit – I often know what my clients are feeling before they do! I’m so familiar with the anatomy of suppression – it’s like bringing back circulation to frostbitten hands, it needs to be done gently with support and I find EFT is ideal for that.

I’m also much more fulfilled in relationships. I started dating a friend called Drew just before I did the Process and we’ve now been living happily together for over a year with exciting future plans. I’d love everyone in the world to do the Process if they were open to it. Hoffman really ARE serious about change!

You can read more about Kelly’s coaching and hypnotherapy on LinkedIn

Interview with Nikki Wyatt