How/where did you first hear about Hoffman?
I first heard about Hoffman via Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, who talked fondly of his Process experience on Tim Ferris’ Podcast. He mentioned Hoffman and was hugely complimentary about the Process and the impact it had had on him.
What prompted you go sign up for the Process?
I was really drawn to the intensive nature of the course. I’d had therapy in the past and sometimes felt I was left hanging after my 50 allocated minutes. I was also attracted to the group aspect of the Process and the fact that it was fully immersive with no outside distractions. The other thing that resonated strongly with me was the Quadrinity model and looking at the four aspects of yourself; mind, body, emotion and spirit. That made a lot of sense to me, as my therapy experiences before had felt mostly intellectual and I was cut off from really integrating and embodying any change. I generally felt like whilst I was surviving and even thriving externally, negative patterns and a deep sense of aloneness were sabotaging my vitality and restricting who I knew I could be. Finally, I liked the logic behind the course and the flow of moving from awareness, to expression, to compassion and forgiveness and lastly to the all-important phase of new behaviour.
What are your overriding memories from the Process week?
I vividly remember arriving apprehensively at Florence House alongside a group of strangers. That feeling of apprehension didn’t last long and it was amazing how quickly everyone bonded and how we all felt we were in a ‘safe sharing space’. From the first session we had, all of the participants were very generous in their willingness to share. I believe this comes from a combination of the facilitator skills and also a result of completing the pre-course work which gets you into your ‘Process mode’ even before the course itself.
The course involved a variety of rituals and modalities and all of these were wound seamlessly into the Process week. I remember how well the grounds and outside space were used to carry out the rituals and the expressive work. I would describe the week as powerful and like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It moved me away from the intellectual/rational thinking and encouraged me to look at my body and emotions for answers, which was a new and cathartic experience for me. The Process was also surprisingly fun in parts, and this fun was cleverly integrated into the week.
Can you remember how you felt when you first left the Process?
When I left, I felt light and airy plus a little apprehensive. It had been an amazing week: such an incredible shared space that I really wasn’t sure about going back into the real world. One of the participants gave me and one of the others a lift back to the station and we just stood chatting and pep talking each other on the platform. On the recommendation of the Hoffman team, I didn’t go straight home. Instead, I spent two nights in Hastings (I strongly recommend a weekend away before you go home as it helps to process, anchor and reflect on all you’ve learnt about yourself). I spent the next two days walking in nature, swimming and just reflecting on what I’d learnt. I felt a very strong sense of a more empowered, authentic me, fending off all of the old patterns I’d been stymied by. I now realise that is and may always be a work in progress and I accept that. I felt excitement that the work I had done in the Process week was the start of a more authentic me and that this work really would carry me through into the future. I felt resilient and a sense of trust in myself that I hadn’t ever really felt before.
What did you learn about yourself on the Process week/ how, if at all have you changed?
The main thing I learnt was just how strong my dark side (my inner critic) was. I felt a huge sense of loss for how much I had missed out on due to this negative force – which often manifested as depressive episodes and suicidal thoughts – and I had a period of confrontation and grieving on the Process whilst I dealt with this. On the upside, after I’d integrated the anger and sadness I felt around this, I was able to access my spiritual self / inner radiance which I realised was very strong. I had just denied it having a voice for many years. I was able to show myself compassion over how I’d treated myself in the past. This self-compassion and positive inner voice continues to grow and get louder today and has had a real impact on me.
What impact has the Process had on your life?
I would describe it as a ‘springboard to a new life’. Attending the Process really clarified things for me. Prior to the course, I was living in London and working as a full-time lecturer. On many levels, the role was a good one but something inside didn’t feel quite right. At the time, I only had my intellectual side to work with and this told me I was lucky to have such a good job. Going on the Process allowed me to connect with the other elements of myself – emotion, body and spirit – and actually work out with some clarity that London wasn’t the right place for me. I also had a huge backlog of creative projects that I’d put on the back burner and I had a clearer view after the Process about how to bring these into the world. Since then I have moved back to Yorkshire to a smaller community and decided not to teach full time and instead focus on my creative development.
In terms of that creative development, back in 2020 I finished my Masters in Fine Art at UCL. The main body of work I had produced – Light and Love – involved a lot of self-observation and attempts to use language, music, and performance to self-soothe and empower positive action. Before Hoffman, the execution of the musical form of this project felt stuck. My voice literally felt restricted. Following Hoffman, and the expressive work in particular, much of this cleared and I was able to evolve the project into a live visual album through a creative retreat with Britten Pears Arts trust in Suffolk in the summer of 2022.
The songs are based on repetitive vocal rounds, some of which involve transforming a negative inner voice to a positive one. Light and Love LIVE’s first song ‘be gone’ instructs a transition from anxiety to a smile, and the album’s penultimate track ‘soft instructions: slow down’ began as a note to self to stop rushing and be present. Prior to the Process, I was always rushing, and I now give myself ‘soft instructions’ to slow down. I had lots of lightbulb moments with Hoffman and many of these galvanised my completion of the album.
(Continues…)
With regards to my move back home to my roots, I really see this as a process of maturation. Whilst I always knew I would make that move at some point, before Hoffman there were a lot of negative associations with home from a past relationship and I certainly had some avoidant tendencies when it came to family, which Hoffman helped me deal with. I’m now living in a smaller community which I craved, with fresher air and proximity to my family who I feel closer to. I still love London and can now appreciate it as a visitor.
I have a strong vision of how my life, relationships, and career can continue to benefit from my nurturing of my creative aspects, and I now trust my Spirit to guide me and put me on the right path. Many of the visualisations on the Process helped me with this. I’m now less driven by fear and more by positive potential. Moment to moment I am aware of how much my negative inner voice can restrict me. However, I now recognise this voice immediately and can disengage from the voice entirely.
What Hoffman tools/techniques do you most remember and what do you find useful now?
One tool I recall and use daily is the gratitude and appreciation practice. I work very hard to make this appreciation qualities-based, not achievement-based. For example:
Appreciation
- My generosity, cooking for my Nan
- My patience in dealing with the printer issue
- My ability to give myself creative time
And Gratitude
- My family for being there for me
- Nature – the beautiful fog in the valley today
- The internet – for helping me connect with art, music and distant kindred souls. How this touches me and brightens my day.
I also benefit from using pattern recycling and many of the visualisations and meditations available from the facilitators.
What would you say to anyone considering doing the Process?
The world would be a better place if everyone did the Process. So many people try and make themselves feel better/ heal themselves through achievement or consumption. If you have blockages in your life or issues you’re not dealing with, then you can earn all the accolades you want, it won’t help you or heal the pain.
Personally, my resistance to the Process was very much a financial one. At the time I was thinking ‘Can I justify spending all this money on myself?’. Now I see it in a totally different way: you’re investing in the person you will be for the rest of your life. The Process is actually the largest financial investment I’ve made personally, and it signified a deep commitment to live my life, and nurture sustained vitality to do so. If you have any sense that something is lacking in you or your life and if you are ready to take responsibility for what you can change, then the intensive nature of the Process and its results are really worth it. There is something incredibly joyous and freeing about taking action towards becoming the person you were meant to be.
Also, don’t forget that you’ll have an amazing support system to draw on after the Process both with the Hoffman team and also your fellow participants. Immediately after the Process, a WhatsApp group was set up and we were there to support each other from day one. This group is still active and we continue to provide help and support to each other to this day.
Finally, have your friends and family noticed any changes in you?
Yes, definitely. They’ve noticed that I’m calmer. That I’m able to BE rather than DO all of the time. And that I’m also a way better listener than I used to be!
We’d like to thank Geraldine for taking the time to speak with us. You can find Geraldine’s music, including Light & Love LIVE and more at geraldinesnell.com
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