How did you become aware of Hoffman?
Hoffman had been on my radar for over a decade, as I’d had various friends who attended the Process. It was seeing the impact of the course on one friend in particular that made me feel it was the right road and the right moment for me. We’d had similar lives and shared a common interest in self-development, and after a very intense conversation one evening, I was convinced that this was what I needed in my life, and I signed up the next day.
What was happening in your life prior to going on the Process?
In 2020, I found myself in the darkest hole of my life and running away from my problems. By 2021, I hit the wall so intensely that I was driven to seek answers in India. I was desperate for change. With no real plans, I booked a one-way ticket, and I let the universe take over.
My journey began in an Ayurvedic hospital where I did a three-week Panchakarma to cleanse. That taught me a lot about myself and my life going forward. After this, I started to ponder the question ‘why is everything in my life such a battle?’ Happily, I was able to address this physically and mentally in India when I learnt the art of consciously ‘letting go’. I surrendered and let life happen. When you surrender, you experience the holy grail of FLOW, and life becomes less of a struggle.
I spent about two years total in India. During this time, I spent some time in a wonderful healing hotel. I found that lots of the practitioners were leaving it after a take-over by a fancy American chain, and that’s when my separation anxiety hatched a plan. I decided to invite these practitioners to a European venue to share their wisdom and keep them close. I hoped they would be persuaded that regular stints in Europe would be the right thing for them. The stars aligned, I found a retreat venue – and Datu Wellness was born. I knew I was on the right path when things snowballed – the guests came, the press gave great reviews, and the venue exceeded my expectations. But I also learnt that the inner work never stops and so I still had that little voice telling me that I needed to do Hoffman, and I booked on to do the course in May 2024.
What did you hope to get from the Process?
I went into the Process with several goals. My overriding desire was to connect more with my feelings and get out of living in my head. Even before doing the Process, I recognised I’d taken up residency in my intellect and was mastering the art of pushing my feelings down and away. I’d always kept most people at a distance – to the detriment of relationships – and I wanted to address that too. I asked myself ‘what’s the cost to me if I don’t change?’
My specific goals were:
- To start to live life from a point of view of love, not fear
- To be more authentic and generally less cold to increase the closeness of my bonds with other people in my life
- To be less judgemental (I’d already identified this as an inherited pattern from my childhood)
- To live life more in connection with the subconscious, spontaneous, feeling part of myself as well as the intellectual and rational part
My only reservation was whether I would already know many of the modalities on the Process… How wrong was I?
What did you learn/experience during the week?
Most of all, I recall the sheer joy and positivity of the week. Seeing others on the course having breakthroughs and being vulnerable really helped me re-connect with my own feelings. It was really humbling to see people open up and ‘be real’.
Being honest, my first thought on seeing the group, was ‘how I am going to spend a whole week with a group of strangers?’ On reflection, that was my judgemental pattern rearing its ugly head. It soon disappeared though – as soon as the first round of introductions, I was basically in love with everyone! It was so refreshing to meet people as human beings, openly sharing their insecurities and pain.
The course is perfectly designed and flows so well, and there are so many joyful elements to it. The facilitators are experts in what they do and gently guide you to feel safe enough to access a place of deep vulnerability, allowing for the work that needs to be done. And sometimes they also triggered a pattern or two in me, which allowed for great learning.
The expression work was powerful. I was a bit shocked initially at the physicality of it and the rage that some people expressed, but I could see how it gave enormous release. Overall, I was fascinated by the experiential nature of the course.
My fear of abandonment and of being ‘short changed’ was identified and I understood how this had dictated my approach to life and how I’d shown up. I’d always been very self-sufficient and, in doing this, I hadn’t let people in or was as giving and generous as I’d like to be. The penny dropped; it is hard to relate to others authentically when you are driven by your patterns. Understanding those barriers and turning the dial down has allowed me to finally let love in and now that is now my default mode I practice; I operate less and less from a place of insecurity.
What has been the impact on your life and work?
On a personal level I’ve had lots of shifts. My relationships with my siblings and others have changed, particularly with my brother. I now approach interactions with him with genuine curiosity and less with preconceived notions. I’m gently and slowly exploring a new relationship with my estranged mother of over a decade that would not have been on the horizon before doing the Process.
My quality of exchange with everyone has improved and this also shows up in my business life. I can now operate from a place of openness and genuine enquiry much more frequently than before, rather than attempting to impose my way. I am practising being my authentic self and there is generally more honesty in the way I deal with people, which spills over into how I deal with guests at our Datu retreats. I’m happy that I show up differently now and continue the practice daily.
What would you say to anyone thinking about doing the Process?
Just go and do it, as soon as you can! Personally, I think that everyone should do the Process; I’m a Hoffman convert. It’s good for everyone. If you’re a busy person, it’s very time efficient. As many people have experienced, it’s like having years of therapeutic help in one week. If you’re a people pleaser, it will help release you from this trap and help address your issues around self-worth. It’s great for new parents to help break generational patterns and be the best parent you can be. Even for those who’ve done lots of self-development, as I had, Hoffman adds another layer.
They say that Hoffman comes to you at the right time, so trust your gut instinct. If it’s right for you, you’ll know.
To find out more about Constantin’s vision at Datu Wellness, visit datuwellness.com or Instagram @datuwellness
Sign up to receive monthly newsletters from Hoffman