THE HOFFMAN PROCESS
I participated in a wildly intense week completing The Hoffman Process back in April.
I work in wellness and have become increasingly aware of the commercialisation of retreats, mystical potions, recipes, books and mentors promising the answer. I am part of that game and indeed sell classes, books and talks which I hope are beneficial, but I have to be honest, I am naturally cynical.
My first introduction to wellness came in the form of Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life which appeared at home when I was around fourteen. Intuitively I knew the book was simple, yet profound. It was a beautiful introduction to what I was soon to learn is an equal parts weird and wonderful world of self-help. Over the years I gathered, as I was chased up and down Grafton Street by people promoting their form of actualisation in exchange for my credit card details and a monthly direct debit, that the self-help world preys on the vulnerable and is a land of false promise. Not all best selling books, coaches and seminars will deliver and it can be disheartening.
I have invested money, time and resources in so many books, classes, retreats and seminars and become certified myself in numerous methodologies to include plant based nutrition, the science of happiness, breathwork and reiki. Whilst some have been beneficial I have become more conscious that the industry, not unlike any other, can be filled with false prophets, narcissists, spiritual bypassing and promises of quick fixes. When you are dealing with long-standing issues habitual change is required, and although some therapists claim to do one-stop sessions for any number of ailments from giving up smoking to treating additions, in my experience old habits die hard.
In 2022 I found myself nearing a significant birthday and acknowledging that there were elements of my life I wanted to change but couldn’t quite put my finger on what I needed to do. I accepted I was both the common denominator and the empowered party to evolve, if I could find the right framework and support. As I said though, I’m cynical, experienced and pretty well read. I needed something really, really good to impart my time and money.
I developed an insomnia that went on for an extended period of time and led to a new normal of being awake at 4.30 am for the wrong reasons.
It was during one of these late, late nights that I found myself listening to Katy Perry and Gwyneth Paltrow speaking about The Hoffman Process. Physically I felt an energetic thump in my chest, which I now know is a strong gut instinct. I’ve felt this before, and regretted ignoring it, so the next day I searched further. As mentioned I'm well versed in wellness and also naturally cynical about false promises and promotions however something about The Hoffman Process felt aligned, confident, efficient and effective.
Bob Hoffman created the Hoffman Process in 1967, drawing on established techniques and adding a few nuggets of his own. The Hoffman Quadrinity Process, is a week-long residential and personal growth retreat that helps participants identify negative behaviours, moods, and ways of thinking that developed unconsciously. More than 50 years later, his work is even more relevant than it ever was, and during the week long residential process you are taught tools and techniques to help you change the old behavioural patterns that are preventing you from feeling fully alive.
I signed up for a one hour zoom where an overview was given and questions could be asked. I knew absolutely nothing about the process despite the Hoffman Institute operating from 17 centres in 14 countries worldwide. They advise that the less you know the better. It requires surrender. We were told that during the week no mobile phone usage was allowed, no reading of external literature and no exercise. In short nothing that might distract you from this extremely refined method was allowed. I read up further and only found people extolling the virtues of this deep and intense week. I worried about missing a week’s work and wondered how much could be delivered in a short space of time but committed and booked flights. Thereafter followed 9 hours of intake forms and it was as if the process began in then. The questions and information required led me towards examining patterns in my lifestyle, demeanour, who I was as a person and why I had allowed certain things happen to me. I saw the role I played as much more active than I had previously acknowledged. Preparation for the week started my mind evaluating on a deeper level than ever before in the lead up to it.
I arrived, as if in a movie scene, in the dark and lashing rain, at Bore Place, an idyllic English country house about 40 minutes taxi drive from Gatwick. A subtle feeling of dread set in as I had perhaps been rationalising with myself that something would occur to dissuade me from actually having to participate, but nothing had. That night I sank into bed and a wave of uncomfortable emotions surfaced.
The first three days were a blur of extremely open discussion with people from all over the world. Collectively we were a group of 24 but then paired down to smaller groups of 8 with an individual teacher for workshops. Confidentiality is assured throughout and in this safe environment waves of old feelings and emotions began to surface. People opened up so deeply that I felt immense, almost immediate, compassion and connection with a group of strangers so vulnerably sharing.
No phones, reading, exercise or meditation, whilst initially terrifying, led to an amazing experience for the first time of seeing my body’s ability to process emotions relatively quickly when not distracted. We were placed in silence and brought to a cadence of frustration, anger and irritation, and without the ability to speak, exercise, eat or drink or do anything to escape the emotions, we learned to acknowledge and then release them physically and emotionally. Screaming, beating cushions with baseball bats, writing letters and burning them and deeply transcendent mediations followed the most perfectly orchestrated daily agenda. Breaks, workshop punctuality and timings and our responsibility to eat well and sleep were emphasised. This is hard, hard work on your body and mind and it needs the support of retreat surroundings and care.
By day three strangely I felt different. I wasn’t as exhausted or in a fog as I had been initially. I could maintain eye contact with strangers and accept (conscentual) hugs with appreciation. Extremely direct conversation was encouraged and I found the profound efficiency of telling people exactly what I was feeling, and taking responsibility for clear communication, empowering beyond belief. I realised a lot of my problems had evolved from a lacking in basic honesty with myself and others and the eloquence and grace to communicate my needs and expectations clearly. I’d bought into the good girl, people pleasing, ideology to the detriment of my spirit and had developed a subtle passive vindictiveness as a result. I’ve always felt you can’t argue with honesty and here I learnt how true it is. I felt my confidence come back in a way I had forgotten and realised that I’m pretty opinionated, ambitious, confident and also fun. Under a mask of conditioning that person had gotten lost over the years and it felt like coming home to my true self.
We practiced forgiveness in a major way and towards the end of the week played games that I had never understood the value of in school but I now see that they encourage healthy neural pathways towards social connections, creativity and collaboration. We began looking towards designing a new future, one where we would take absolute responsibility for playing our part. I allowed myself to dream, and dream big, feeling as if an invisible haze had been lifted from my mind. I don’t know how it got there but it had become so habitual it felt like it was who I was. Radical self responsibility and accountability is key and this is the empowering conversation I wish I had with myself years ago.
Our last day involved a beautiful and optimistic ceremony and we were encouraged to take a few days to acclimate in peace and process.
One month on life feels different and it’s as if I’ve come out from under a wave I didn’t know I was struggling under. My insomnia has left. I can’t lay out the exact reasons as to why but spiritually speaking I feel, as I am about to enter the next decade of my life, I needed to process and leave behind certain things I didn’t consciously understand. This week allowed space and tools for that to happen.
The sepia filter is taken off and there’s a more visceral post-Hoffman currency to life. I see the part I played before in drama playing out and I have tools to catch myself when older habits re-surface. Responsibility requires maturity and perhaps I avoided that with seemingly good reason but it got stale and stagnant watching my life unfurl seemingly randomly over the years.
Once you’ve completed the process you’re encouraged to create a WhatsApp support group and there are meet ups but what I loved is there’s no upsell.
In the commercialisation of wellness many have built their fortunes off preying on the intensely vulnerable and this has led to wonderful, experienced and gifted people and modalities being tarred with the same brush. Just as Louise Hay’s book shone out to me over 25 years ago, the truly impactful and brilliant programs and people will stand the test of time. I genuinely believe the Hoffman Process is just that. I’m always cautious to recommend anything as I feel everyone’s outcome is unique to them but wholeheartedly my week at the Hoffman Process was one of the most efficient, intense and well spent 7 days of my life. I only wish I had found it sooner as I feel there’s a pretty beautiful life unfolding and I regret not knowing something so effective existed before.
To learn more see >hoffmaninstitute.co.uk<
Please do not share, repost or reproduce this article or any part thereof.
